Another Goodbye
by JAGgle Belle
Summary: To me the JAG on NCISLA story was so wrong on so many levels, I had to change it. In bringing back Harm and Mac, this wouldn't have been my first option. However, after watching the NCISLA episodes, this is what kept coming to me to fix it.


The Marine Liaison to the Secretary of State…. Harm heard NCIS Ops Manager Henrietta Lange say the words, but it took a moment for those words to sink in. He felt himself react, but he wasn't quite sure exactly what his reaction was. Was it surprise? Was it fear? Was it hope? Whatever it was, he needed to push it down and put his command face on. Although he was aboard the USS Allegiance and she was in Los Angeles, he knew soon they would be face to face with just a screen and a world of distance between them.

The threat was real. The stakes were high. The danger was all around. The men and women under his command, his focus. The XO in him was happy he would have her expertise in this situation. The man in him…. He wasn't sure, but on a ship, there was nowhere to run.

Suddenly, there she was. Harm held his breath as Mac exchanged pleasantries with Callen and Hanna. He wondered if they noticed anything between them. "XO, good to see you." Mac had an air of composed formality to her. Harm figured if he could define his and Mac's relationship, it would put an end to any speculation before it began. "The Lt. Colonel and I worked together for 9 years at JAG in Falls Church." There he said it. Perhaps now he wouldn't have to deal with the last 14. Callen and Hannah were called away, leaving Harm and Mac alone face to face for the first time in 9 years.

"You look great." Harm heard the words come out of his mouth as he finally gave into reflex and not into thought. 'Leave it to you Rabb,' he chided himself. She did look great though, just as he imagined she would so many times. The lines of age softly etched Mac's face, yet in so many ways she looked as if she hadn't aged in these last 9 years. "You haven't changed," she wistfully responded. "The sea suits you." In a way Mac was right. The sea, being on a carrier did suit him. It's here where Harm felt most in control. But she was wrong. He had changed.

14 years earlier….

A coin toss? Who makes one of the most important decisions of their lives with the toss of a coin? When all was said and done even Mac and Harm joked about it. However, that night he would have agreed to almost anything she would have asked. Silence filled the barroom as Bud flipped the coin. It landed tails. Mac won. Harm would be a liar if he didn't admit at that moment asking himself what on earth did he just do. Yet somehow, Harm just knew everything was going to be all right. It was.

With fate giving her the win, Mac decided not to let fate decide their futures anymore. She could hold it in no longer and blurted out, "We're going to London!", as Harm looked at her in a state of shock. With a playful glint in her eye, she told him, "My win, my choice flyboy." Mac meant it those years ago when she told Harm that he was born to be a Naval Officer. If anyone was, Harm was. Harm's night blindness cost him the career path he would have had if he were able to remain a Naval Aviator. He was able to return to flight duty when his eyes were fixed, but it was too late. He lost too much time. And for Mac, there was perhaps the biggest reason of all. Harm already resigned his commission once for her. It would be her way to finally say thank you to Harm for risking and sacrificing so much to save her life in Paraguay. Now, with this billet and promotion to Captain, Harm was on course to be the Judge Advocate General. Mac knew she couldn't, wouldn't interfere. And truth be told, Mac's sights were now on different things. Her priorities were different. Marrying Harm. Making a family with Harm and Mattie. Having Harm's child…...somehow. Being a marine would always be part of her, but it no longer needed to be all of her.

End flashback…

"This is a difficult situation." Harm was aware he wasn't just talking about the threat the Allegiance was facing. Was she? Mac diverted to the tensions they were facing. The Saudis and the Israelis were on edge. They weren't the only ones. It was understandable, but did she understand? Joined again by Callen and Hanna, their conversation was coming to an end. The look on her face grabbed hold of Harm. While both wanted to hang on a little longer, it was time for another goodbye…

"Admiral Rabb," Petty Officer Darlin Lewis called over the intercom. Her voice startled Harm. He must have fallen asleep. The long days and sleepless nights were finally catching up to him. "Ms. Mackenzie Rabb is on the phone." Harm grinned at the formality, hearing the smile in Darlin's voice, knowing that is how the caller would identify herself. "Admiral Rabb," he answered. "Hi Daddy!" Every day when 9-year-old Mackenzie Rabb returned home from school, the first thing she did was call her father. They chatted briefly about her day, and Harm promised Mackenzie he would be home early so they could spend some extra time together.

Harm slowly hung up the phone. It happened again, didn't it? That dream. That damn dream, reuniting him with Mac, but still not able to touch her. He missed Mac so much, especially now. He needed her. Her calm. Her resolve.

Mattie was a squadron leader aboard the USS Allegiance. Harm was so proud of her, yet at the same time as any father would, he worried about her. He now finally understood how his own mother felt. Sure, he had every confidence in his old friend Tuna as Mattie's CAG, but being the Judge Advocate General made him privy to the true threat the Allegiance was facing. Harm was in Falls Church, powerless. Perhaps that is why his mind again called on the one he knew he could count on, the one who always had his back, even now.

9 years. It's been 9 years since he lost Mac. Harm wished Mackenzie could have known the incredible woman Mac was, and the sacrifices she made for her…. for him…. for them. Mattie and Harm did their best to tell Mackenzie all about Mac, but it just wasn't the same.

It took almost 5 years to the day they were married for Harm and Mac to have a child. When they found out Mac was finally pregnant, they were ecstatic. Their joy, however, was short-lived when it was discovered that Mac had cancer. The doctors mistook her symptoms for complications of her endometriosis. Mac opted to forgo treatment, as she wanted her child, their child, to have every chance. Harm tried his hardest to change Mac's mind. He didn't want to lose her. Not then. Not ever. Mac remained steadfast in her conviction. There was no changing her mind.

Love, sadness, wanting the moment not to end…... Mac's look, the one in his dream. He did see it before. It was so much like the look in Mac's eyes when she held Mackenzie for the last time…


End file.
